The Condo,The woods,& Today

As Ferrill and I go down this path of adoption, we've had some crazy,stupid,and beautiful things happen.Things so personal,so deep and profound that I know I will remember these lessons for the rest of my life. I would like to share some of the greatest and most monumental to us both. This post will mostly likely be long, but perhaps you will find for yourself a gem of wisdom or revelation as you read.That is what I hope.

It was this past June Ferrill and I had just made the decision to finally adopt and we had just heard back from the agency that they had accepted our application.We were more nervous than excited at that point,mostly due to the financial intimidation that comes with adopting. Within days of that call things got really crazy for us. We've owned a home out of state for several years before we moved here and had been trying to sell for sometime.We were paying 2sets of bill and for the first time ever, we were late on our mortgage payment because we simply didn't have the money.Also within days Ferrill was in a crazy car accident while I was out of town. Our car that we had just finished payments on had been totaled after he was hit at over 50mph at a stop light.Everyone was lucky to be alive and Ferrill was the ONLY one who walked away without even a scratch or bruise.Their were a dozen other things happening at that time also that required money.Our missions trip to Haiti the following month, a new car now, $1500 to do a homestudy, we needed to go to the dentist... it was all too much.
 I remember like it was yesterday. I had just gotten off the phone with Ferrill from work  after having yet another conversation about money,(I was cleaning a condo that day)and this thought went through my mind "Lord this is insane! How do you expect us to adopt a baby if we can't even financially stay afloat ourselves! This wont work!" and I heard this response from God so clearly,"you can choose to be pitiful, or powerful, but you can't be both."  
I knew it was the leading of the Lord to adopt,i knew it was his leading to leave our home and move here to pastor. And after that moment a crazy thing happened. My flesh was scared and I was crying so hard but I could feel this aggressive fiery voice raising up in me! The next thing I new I was declaring "I WILL NOT BE FINANCIALLY OR IN ANY OTHER WAY INTIMIDATED!" I declared the goodness and faithfulness of God and my commitment to his will for my life.

Months after my breakthrough Ferrill would have an experience of his own.He was feeling overwhelmed and needed to get away from the office, so he went for a walk in some woods far away. During his walk he was talking with God "Lord you know our difficulty, you know our needs emotionally and financially right now".Ferrill was also concerned where will this $30,000 come from for this baby."Lord if you could just give us some encouragement or a blessing to help that would be amazing." As he was walking he looked down and saw a $5 bill laying on the ground. It was warn,wet and weathered from laying in the woods for who knows how long and he picked it up praising God that he had heard and even though it was only $5 it still ment so much to his heart. Now,that alone was cool,but what happened next is amazing!!! As he held it up with both hands thanking God for this answer to prayer it immediately fell into 2 pieces.Like it had been burned right down the middle and when it happened he said he heard the voice of God say this to him," Ferrill you need to understand that this... means absolutely nothing to me." When he came home and told me the story and showed me the $5 bill I just remembered thinking all day,how blessed we are to belong to a God that doesn't need or require us to have money.He wants us, and he wants us to trust him.Simple but surprisingly difficult to do and accept.
So this brings us to today.8 months since then and a son due in April. And this is just some of whats happened.

•  When we went to buy a car our credit was a nightmare from missing our house payment (25% interest) we prayed and called a place being led by the Holy spirit. Turnes out the dealers daughters go to the school associated with our church and he said it would be an honor to finance us through there business.We were able to get a car better than we could have hoped for.
• Dec 19th we signed a contract to sell our out of state house.2 days later we were matched with our baby.
• The day we were matched we had 24hours to write a check to the agency for half the cost! $11,520! When we checked the account to see what had came in it was exactly the amount needed as of that morning.

• Feb 8th we finally closed on our house.It was done. and 4 days later we had the sonogram and found out we were having a son

 As of last week we still needed $8000 to be completely funded. Sometimes I still wonder how this is all happening and where the rest will come from.We just say Lord this is your plan.Help. And yesterday someone gave us a check for $1000, We finally went to the dentist this past Wednesday and since she knew about the adoption she pulled us aside and said she wanted to do all the work for free!!! Then this morning we recieved another $1000 online and even while ive been writing this, Ferrill brought in the mail with a  $200 check! All I know is this. If God is for us,who can be against us? Yes this journey has been long and challenging in many ways but my testimoney is that so far,its been the most amazing thing Ive ever seen the Lord do in our lives in spite of the difficulty.His love for us and this baby cannot be measured and as much as I want this all to work out,he wants it more.Whatever plans God has for your life remember he has already made a way for it.Do not be lied to or intimidated! Just say yes,trust in his goodness and enjoy the adventure hes been anticipating.

           Of course we saved the $5 bill. It now sits framed in our nursery as a beautiful reminder.