You see, so many of us are still living our lives in an old covenant, and perhaps we prefer it that way. In the old testament people wanted to please God because of what he could do for them or to them. The old covenant was based on obedience and rules equaling blessing and prosperity. Men and woman encountered God at that time through literal visitations. The presence of God was a dwelling place limited to a single location. No one could really know God, but then Christ came. His kingdom was not to be established literally as the disciples had hoped for, but he came that the very presence of God could now dwell personally in the hearts of every man. The laws that had to be obeyed or else, would now become principals for the heart to live by. God would come now, because of Christ's death, and through the holy spirit dwell among us. Our lives could now be exchanged for a new life. Not just for an eternal one but one here and now! Gods presence could now dwell in the hearts of man and the Word and understanding of his kingdom could be understood finally. But, I feel like not many believers want that. We want the God who would give us rewards for following "rules" but not the God who wants to be with us. We prefer to go to church 1 day a week at best so we can live a descent life and go to heaven instead of giving of our lives daily that we may know him and his will. The salvation I experienced was an exchange, my life, my plans my future was surrendered and I began the slow process of dying to myself in order that he might live in me and through me. Is this not what Christ did? Did he not lay down his own position seated with is father to accept the humble task of being used for his fathers purpose? In every way Christ showed us how to die and how to live. How sad it makes me to see that so many simply want to live their own lives, independent of God, and if He should happen to bless them or they have any extra room, so be it, when this is not the picture of following Christ I've read at all. Such a high price was paid to make the very presence of God possible, and how few of us find any value in it or find it necessary at all for our own daily lives.
After that conversation or realization I should say, I made it a point to truly try to keep God first. I mean, really. I'd say I "loved the Lord" but my life was set up in a way that I cant even say that was true. If the time I truly dedicated to him daily was the evidence of that then their was little to none. I'll confess I was definitely one of those people that wanted the perks of the old testament but still couldn't understand how much better the new one was. I filled my life with all the "doing good" things but, my heart wasn't often in any of it. Let me just do what's good and let the Lord accept my sacrifice so that he'll continue to bless me. It was Matthew 15:8 when God said "They honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me." I told him I loved him for 45 minutes once a week in service but my heart desired so many other things first. Even when I did want to spend time with him their wasn't any time left in the day, or if their was I wanted it for myself. Many of those things that consumed my time were good, but it wasn't God himself, just a bunch of stuff I did to try and show him I loved him. I understood his longing for me in a new way after that. I rearranged my whole life to do this very thing for him. I cleared the roster and hit reset. If Loving the Lord with all my heart mind and soul was truly the greatest instruction of my whole life, and I believed that the Word was true then I had to give it a serious chance of ever happening. Perhaps at points in my life it had once been this way, but life kept piling on thing after thing. I became terrible at guarding my time and having boundaries and before I knew it days and almost years belonged to everyone and everything else except me, and certainly not God. I say this ashamedly because my husband and I are in ministry. Somehow in giving our whole life to serving God, somehow we got consumed in serving only people. How backwards of an example is that? So like I said I hit reset. I finished every obligation I had made and declined every request or opportunity beyond that. I stopped watching tv and entertaining myself, I said goodbye to a few relationships that were a lot of work and bearing little to no fruit. I actually felt the Lord leading me to quite my job! I know this sounds extreme but, if it cost the Son of God his life how minor is a mere $100 a week job if it would allow me 8 more hours a week to have time to spend with him? And so with my husbands blessing, I'm telling you I really went for it. I became devoted to him first and I committed a minimum of an hour a day to his Word and before long 1 hour became for like 3-4. And do you know what happened? I started to fall in love again.
Now I'm a pretty non emotional person, ask anyone who knows me well. I am a thinker not a feeler, so I'll be terribly honest with you and say I wasn't sure the emotion of love for Christ seemed realistic to me. I would often read the Commandment about love and be like "skip. I'll be devoted but I'm not sure about having love the way I know it. Take me to the part about loving my neighbor, that one seems more reasonable" but I'm telling you something began to happen. I would sit into the night and read the bible and just start crying. The reality of Gods love was so tangible I'd fall asleep with tears in my eyes and wake up bathed in the same powerful reality of it. And then another wild thing happened. The more I pursued God, the more he gave me the things I'd always wanted. The things I tried to make happen with effort before, began to take place with no effort at all unexpectedly. Its that verse in Psalms that says "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." As I put God first and fell in love with him again, as I continued to find great delight in being in his presence, so many things around me changed. Deep in my heart I desired to travel more and suddenly we were being asked to go places and teach. I hoped for more space to live in and God brought us a bigger home! Literally, the owners called us and asked US to move into their home and we pay less now than we were paying in rent before! I wanted to raise another child and God made that possible! The money I was no longer making began to show up effortlessly in other ways. I'm telling you when you set your heart to know God it is the most powerful fulfilling experience ever. I enjoy and appreciate the amazing things God has given me, but it all now pales in comparison to encountering him and he is now establishing in me a real kingdom like the one Christ died for. I just want to challenge you, maybe you need a new lease on life. Maybe you once felt a passion and devotion that has dwindled down to almost nothing. Its time to clear the roster and hit reset. Maybe you're like me and have filled your life with so many good things that theirs no room left at the end of the day to enjoy God or even know what he's up too in your life. Its time to place God first. Or maybe you're trying so hard seeking things, but nothing is happening. Seek God, find JOY in Him FIRST and just you wait and see what he does for you. The time is now friends to put all things under him. Because more than anything else he just wants to come close to you. You can have so many things in this life, but if you don't have love, you have nothing (1 Cor. 13:2) I'm challenging you to take a look at your daily life and ask yourself if God is truly first. And if the answer is no, then its time to fall in love again.
xoxo Sharon
