Tuesday, January 30, 2018

The Unspecials

I woke up this morning wanting to tell you a story, but more importantly wanting to expose a pattern that not only has happened in my own life, but I believe perhaps your life as well. My hope is that after you read this, your eyes and mind would be open to some truths and that you would walk in more freedom than you do even now. Because Jesus Christ died, that we might be free.

I wanted to talk to you about the misery of feeling unspecial, about the price you pay for believing this lie. In a world saturated with social media its like everyone's in a universal competition. Comparing gifts and beauty and in this game their is always a winner and a loser. How many times have you exited out of your app with this foggy since of, wow.... and somehow our souls have picked up a funny interpretation of believing we are perhaps not as special as someone else. These devices have become both a tool and a weapon. But more often I believe they slowly erode us of truth about ourselves. Luckily I was born in the 80's, before smart phones and apps. But even then the enemy was on the move to deceive us, those who would call themselves children of God. If he couldn't rob us from our families, or from our sincere love for God, then another plan would need to be executed. One where we would be free to love God and enter his kingdom, but the concept of reaching our full potential or believing we had a purpose and irrevocable gifts would need to be aborted. I call that plan, "the un-specials."

Now the seed of believing you are unspecial or not important can come from anywhere and anyone but its important to remember that it isn't really them, or that thing as much as it was an opportunity for the devil to lie to you. Mine didn't come from facebook or Instagram but actually from moments and conversations with my parents, whom love me and also serve the Lord. I'll share with you one of my earliest memories of this.

I may have been about 12 when my family was leaving a Walmart about 25 miles from where we lived. My mom, dad, older brother and younger sister were all walking out to our car bags in tow and I remember feeling tense from the chilly air as we made the long walk to where we had parked. The mood was light and playful and it wasn't often this happened or that we were all together. My dad worked 40-60 hrs a week as a school bus driver and in the evenings was working on his degree to give us a better life. At some point one of us kids asked, "tell us about when you decided to have kids!" All 3 of us slightly giddy to hear the mystery of our parents life before us. My mom said "Well, when we got married I was already in my 30's and we had tried a few years without becoming pregnant, when an evangelist came to our church and said I would have a son, a few weeks later we were pregnant. Now your sister (who's younger than me by 3 years) your father and I had decided to give it another shot, we wanted just one more child and this would be it. He was so set and sure of having another boy that when you were born, and a girl, he still gave you the name Timothie. (that's right people, my younger sisters first name is Timothie, but we called her by her middle name Daniel or Danni most times.) My story was next, and although she giggled when she told it, little did she know that the devil would take these words and often retell me this story for most of my life and remind me of my place in the world and how I had got here. She said " and you, you were the result of your father being cheap.  I told him we needed protection but he didn't buy any, and then you were born." I played that statement over in my head the whole drive home.And although I knew I was a person who was enjoyed, I took on the identity of being unimportant. My brother was basically prophesied into existence and my sister was so ordained to be a woman that although they thought she would be a boy she is in fact female and would make our family "complete" But me, I wasn't that. And I started to see the beauty in other peoples lives and not in the potential of my own.

Another time I was about 16. My dad was out back in our yard working and we'd had the summer Olympics' playing in our house most evenings. It really got me dreaming. Could I be a swimmer? A gymnast? I loved movies with ice-skater's in it. Could I become a beautiful dancer or figure skater one day? I went out to the yard to ask my dad what was possible. And to each of my hopes of the future he replied with a no. I grew up in one of the poorest counties in the whole Midwest. Our town had 197 people in it and I graduated with maybe 40 people in my class, most of which I grew up with since kindergarten. The closest real town was 8-12 miles away, the nearest city was almost 2 hours and hope was not something that grew here. As an adult I know this wasn't said with the intention to take away dreams. It just wasn't realistic or doable, but unfortunately nothing else took its place. I don't believe you should tell someone they can become and do anything, but I do believe in telling someone to be the best at what they are naturally good at and to excel at their gifts. But I simply stopped asking and hoping about my future. I accepted my situation. I once again took on the identity of having an unimportant future. That is until one day I sat on my front porch and I listened to God. I truly lived in the middle of nowhere. No resources, no potential I knew of, very little hope of a life any more than maybe becoming a teacher. My only other options were selling drugs, farming or to shack up with someone, get pregnant, live in a trailer someplace and receive assistance from the government. Seriously! So I decided teacher. And as I was telling God my sad story feeling truly hopeless he began to tell me a different story. About a future full of hope. About a life of adventure, without limits. That I was his daughter, he was a rich King and how I would never lack any good thing. "I will show you some of the most beautiful places in the world!" He said. I had never even left my state before. It was unimaginable. How God? What do I need to do to live like this? And the same reply Jesus gave his disciples still remains for me and for you. He said, "Follow me."

Now after saying all that, I was in no way an insecure person. I never have been. Its not that I think I'm better than anyone else although some might accuse me of that. I've just always enjoyed myself. I like me. I like my personality. I like my humor. I like how I think, and I like the way I look. Now this may seem strange. I think it might be more typical for people to love their gifts and talents but not love themselves. My feelings were opposite. I love myself but have a hard time acknowledging that I have a purpose and that my gifts are of any value. So you can see how much potential can be wasted, should a believer continue to believe the lies that what God has given them is not good, is not valuable, is not important. How many gifts have died along with a person I wonder? How many children of God have lived a "happy" typical life and died only to read in heaven the story of their lives and the potential God had placed inside of them. How many cemeteries are full of the wisdom the world needed, the books for shaping our children or the leadership that went completely untapped. How many pictures went unpainted,business's and buildings undeveloped and children were never adopted not because of bad events or evil things, but because you couldn't accept that you were capable, that your gift was needed, that you were important. So as followers of Christ we believed a lie from hell over Gods truth. Because as a man thinks, so he is.  I don't know about you but when I die, I want to die empty. Not full of all my untouched potential.

You need to know God does not make mistakes. You are here for a reason, to know Gods Crazy love for you, accept it and his Word as absolute truth for your life and to use the gift he's given you. Many people are afraid to die, but a true believer does not fear death for to be absent from this earth means we are with the one we love finally, face to face. But for every believer reading this you should be afraid of living a typical life, being wasted never knowing who God is, who you are, and what he created you to accomplish. For each of us has a work to finish. Life is not determined to be complete or full simply because of your age, particularly being of old age. It is determined by its fullness. Jesus finished his work and was only 33. Remember him saying to the Father as he died "It is finished." what was finished? The work the father sent him to do. But then you have Abraham, whos work didn't even begin until he was of old age. So then what is our work? I believe it is to represent and establish the Kingdom of God on earth by using your gift. Now what is your gift? well... what is that thing you're good at that no one needed to teach you how to do? Take a fish for instance. No other fish teaches a fish how to swim. It just does. No horse attends a seminar on how to run, they just can. No one has ever taught me how to write or tell stories, and yet I started journaling when I was in the second grade. No one taught me to do that. It was just natural. Its my gift. In my home growing up we never had people over, never had anyone stay with us, never had company for dinner, EVER! And yet I am excellent at hosting and being hospitable. It is very natural. It is a gift. I use these two gifts particularly for the kingdom by being available to lend and host really whenever and I am using my gift to write now by sharing with you what God is revealing to me. So what is your gift? Not your plan to be good at or desire to do well but your gift? The bible says "many are the plans of man, but it is His purposes that will prevail." Your gift has purpose. So you can choose to pick a career and waste tones of time and money on something that is not your gift, but your gift will give you meaning. It will give you life and your job most likely will not. By all means work, but don't neglect your gift, Because when you use your gift you activate a part of God inside of you that will be life giving. I've never been paid to write, yet i've been working on this happily since about 8am this morning and when I step away to warm up a drink my spirit is alive, because I have activated my gift. Is this making any sense? Now is the time, for Christ followers to reject the lies of the enemy, to stop being entangled in his traps and call yourself and your gifts good! When people would tell me I had a gift to write I would reject that. "No, not me. I'm not that special, my brother is special and my husband is certainly special but no, not be." and this would work because I thought I was being "humble" but it was really deception once again. It is possible to be humble, like Christ was, and yet totally own your identity, your calling, your purpose, your position as sons and daughters of a king! As heirs to a kingdom!

Stop comparing your gifts to others.God gave each child a gift that pleased him and said to us do what you wish with this gift, but I promise i'll never take it away from you. And most of us not only never use our gift, but when someone else is using theirs and blessed in doing so we actually despise them! Were so jealous! In our wicked hearts we hope they fail but really why we feel that way is because we know we want to do the same and succeed, but have lacked the courage to try. We comfort ourselves and our flesh when others don't succeed, because now their is no higher standard to call ourselves too.

So now what can you do? Start to think about what you're thinking about. Are you unhappy? Do you find your mind comparing your life to others or when you have a good idea your mind starts to list 100 reasons why it'll never work? Begin daily renewing your mind with the Word of God. You don't even have to understand everything and it'll still begin to change your way of thinking. Also i'd encourage you to present yourself to God and ask him, has their been a place in my life where I have accepted things about myself that are not true? If yes please show me. Then shut up and wait. He WILL bring to your mind moments and memories where a bad seed was sown. Say Father I reject this untruth about myself or about what I thought you were like. Heal this place in me that I might move forward in your truth. He will then give you the correct thought about who you are and who he is. If you've been reading his Word the Spirit inside you will find the truth you've read and present it to you. Believe that what he says about you is true! It so important that you change your mind about yourself. That was truly the only change that took place in my life. You can change jobs, relationships, houses and yet feel no real change in your life because your mind is no different. That's why the Egyptians wandered around for 40 years. The were set free from slavery but in their minds they were still slaves. Moses had a huge task. Not just the moment of deliverance but the commitment to helping these people begin to start thinking as free people and as Gods children. That's why we have the Holy Spirit. Because although in a moment Christ died and we went from death to life in him, our Father new the process would take time and be messy. Our helper, our counselor Holy Spirit is with us for that job, and, duh.... he left a book. "The owners manual" I like to call it. If you're serious about real change and real renewal you've got to read your bible. Bottom line. He is the creature, I am his product, who I am and how I'm meant to function is in that book and my job is to agree, let him fix me and then operate and see what happens.

Think about your thoughts. Ask God what your gifts are. Use them.Stop being jealous of others and own your own life! As an 18 year old on that front porch I could have never dreamed of the life Gods given me. Not just the opportunities and the earthly blessings but the continuous renewal of life and potential,but the vast freedom I live in. What joy and life would have been lost had I never listened. Had I never accepted and agreed.What potential would have wasted away in the "American dream" if I hadn't chose to believe you God.
Father I love you. I give you this gift you've given me and I ask that your truth would come into our hearts setting us free from all lies.

Be free in Jesus name.
Sharon

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