I used to pray for peace. Something in life would happen and I'd say "God! I need your peace!" but then one particular day, not too long ago actually, maybe a year or two I did this and so clearly I heard in my spirit and in my head the Lord say"Why do you keep asking me for the things I've already given you?" And then this verse came up from inside me from someplace. Jesus saying to his disciples and all the future readers of his Word, "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you."
What a treasure Jesus offered his disciples, and also now to us. That exact same peace that dwelt inside the body of Jesus, he has offered up to me, and give away to anyone who believes in him and wants it. The same peace activated in him as a man during his time on earth, inside me now. The same peace that caused him to sleep during a dark wild night at sea, the same peace he maintained while being pursued by the thousands being under pressure to "perform for them a miracle", the same peace in his physical body as he saw the roman soldiers coming down the hill at dawn to lead him to his crucifixion, that exact same peace, he has given me. He has given you.
No doubt Christ knew his disciples would need this gift. Their minds were about to be so rocked by what would happen next. They expected this man of power, signs and wonders, a King of the Jews to lead them to victory in war over their enemies for their land, not in the quiet act of his death to redeem the whole world. And although he made it as clear as possible to his disciples as he could, even now we read what Jesus told them often and we so easily criticize their faith. How could they not get what was about to happen? How did they not know everything would be okay? And yet their hopes of the future promised to them died the moment he did. I've often wondered what kind of confusion gripped them during those three days after his death. We know many left and returned back to their previous businesses, and one even denied ever knowing him at all. What deep sorrow and hopelessness they must have felt.
When our last adoption fell through in October I sat on my back porch that day with my mind and heart spinning. This wasn't at all the "plan" I was so sure of. Had not the holy spirit led me himself to this very point? Had his plan failed me? I sat outside numb, so aware of my bareness. I called my dad who gave me the most beautiful perspective that changed my heart from hopeless to hopeful that day. His voice full of the pain of loss he felt for me in that moment, his voice cracked as he also recalled the miscarriage of a grandchild my sister had gone through. I realized we were all hurting and searching for some truth to grasp. Somewhere in our exchange, I remember I was inside my bedroom closet in the dark, he said "You know, I often think about the disciples when Jesus was killed. And how we know now that their darkest time, was also a moment to experience the greatest hope. If they had known more of the truth of what was happening, the way we understand it now, it could have been the most exciting time of their lives." And my amazing father told me he hoped that I would choose not to give up. For all I knew at that moment we were back to square one. Another 2 years of waiting patiently. More paperwork. More money. Id left my job of 4 years to be home with this baby. I was so confident. Calls would come in rather quickly offering me new employment. There were so many questions I had and so many options of where to go from here, but I went back out on the porch and thought, and studied the book of John starting in chapter 14, where Jesus offers his peace and says "Peace I leave with you, MY peace I GIVE you. Not as the worlds gives... do not let your hearts be troubled...do not be afraid." all the way through chapter 20 with his resurrection. What took me minutes to read must have felt like an eternity for their hearts and minds to finally understand, but I reminded myself in that moment when life didn't make sense to me, that I would still accept the gift of his peace to go through my situation and I had this confident hope that my grief would turn to joy. I chose to not be pitiful. I chose to trust. I chose thanksgiving, I chose joy. And then after that I chose to enjoy my life while I was waiting. I chose chocolate cake from Tiziki's and bath bombs from Lush. I chose iced lattes on the beach while Finley was in school. I chose late night bike rides with girlfriends and I chose to throw on some makeup and be with you all every Wednesday and Sunday. I chose to be in the Word of God everyday and everyday it gave me new life, and the Holy Spirit gave new ideas of fun things to be doing while I waited. And after all that, after only about 5 weeks, my situation suddenly changed, and my precious feisty daughter made her way into our hearts and into our home. I look back on that window of time and what the enemy meant for destruction, God worked out for my good. I loved that brief season. It was this strange tension between the unknown, and absolute peace. Between discovering joy in any circumstance and not being afraid to hope again.
So today I'm so thankful to have a part of Christ in me. Not just his Holy Spirit but his peace. Jesus is the Prince of Peace. When you feel peace, its actually him right there with you in spirit. Isn't that just the most wonderful thought? It might make me sound crazy but sometimes ill just say "Lord I thank you for this peace you've given me",take a deeeeeeeeeeeep breath...exhale slooooooooowly and I'm like wow, I feel you, and I feel good. (come on. You know you wanna try it) He even says people who choose to make peace with others are blessed, because he considers those people to be his sons and daughters. When you go the extra mile to create peace where peace is lacking, he's proud of you for that. Don't give up.
The world is broken, and hurting and we have the peace of God to be given out to others freely, but how do we give away something many of us don't have, because we don't realize we've been given it already?
So receive today the peace given to you by Jesus Christ! Let it overwhelm you with a supernatural ease over all those things that have your heart and mind spinning. Share this revelation with someone you know who is a believer but might have forgotten this fundamental truth of who we are in him and what is our inheritance here and now, in this life! And if you're reading this and you don't have any peace in your life, my next question is do you know who Jesus is? That a God who loves you, made a way for you to know him. He sent from his heavenly kingdom his only Son, to this earth to be a living sacrifice for us all. He willingly accepted our consequence of death for our sin, was crucified on a cross and was dead for 3 days. He then rose from death and showed himself to his followers and many many other eye witnesses. He left this earth to go back to his father but he left you and I all we would ever need! And as believers we have this unshakable assurance that he will return for us again to take us to his kingdom. All you need to do is confess your need for a savior, that Jesus Christ did die for you and was raised to life again. I promise you will feel his deep deep peace come upon you when you do this. Enjoy it! Their is so much more waiting for you through him! I'd love to know if you've made this decision to accept and follow Christ.
Well friends, I guess that's it for now. I never really know how to ends these posts. Thanks again for all your kindness and support, and if you live near a Tiziki's Mediterranean Café make sure and try a slice of their chocolate cake! I would also like it to be noted that yes, I did gain about 5lbs during that time. But it was so worth it.
Sincerely,
Sharon
