Costly Assumptions

A little over a year ago I realized a condition I was in that would need to be addressed. I remember it like it was yesterday when a lovely young couple was at our home visiting and I was in the kitchen making dinner. (Story of our lives am I right ladies). And I don't know another way to say this, but their joy was... irritating. The sounds of laughter made me squint my eyes as if it gave me a headache. The feeling I was experiencing and the actual thought that went through my head was "I cant wait for them to leave. Their joy is irritating me." And its as if the Holy spirit poked me in my side as if to say wow,um excuse me, say that again? Their joy irritated me. Something was terribly wrong. My heart was sick.

I sat in bed that night ashamed of myself. Of course I didn't project that message to my guests I don't think but on the inside were all these honest feelings of being annoyed, irritated, like no one knew just how hard things were at times, and busy! Oh Lord so busy. That one word," busy", the one I used to use to describe almost every season of our lives in ministry, now hearing it gives me aversions. I laid their asking the great physician why my heart was so sick? How did it get so bad?  And the answer in a nut shell was this. I was in fact so busy, busy with "good" things that were totally unfruitful. And if I'm learning anything as I get older, its that God never told us to be busy, but only to be fruitful.

I realized that evening in my kitchen as the sounds of joy and laughter from dear friends and my daughter floated through the air that I was trying to give my "best" to God and the scraps that remained went to my husband, my daughter, and whatever friendships I had. I was doing it all so backwards. Somehow I'd made such assumptions that being busy in so many areas was what was good to God, and if I'm being honest, looked better for me. I mean isn't it expected that a pastors wife volunteer with the children and sign up to bring stuff and do XY & Z? God isn't that what you want me to do? And after my talk with the Lord his answer was no. And so you see "good"  is like my enemy now, now that I've learned a way that is better.

Let me read you this story.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to them. She had a sister named Mary who sat at Jesus's feet and listened to him teach, but Martha was distracted by all the preparation's that had to be made. She came to Jesus and asked "Lord don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!

But the Lord answered "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset at many things but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." This is from Luke 10:38-41

When I read this not long ago I saw so clearly this was me. I'd made so many assumptions in the same way Martha had made the assumption that Jesus was actually even hungry. I'm so confident that if Jesus had wanted or needed food Mary would have quickly rushed to do whatever he asked. Obviously she was a huge fan which was why she sat attentively at his feet while he taught. And in John it says Mary ran to meet him when she had heard he was close by, but Martha was too distracted, making assumptions of what she needed to do, worrying and full of stress when Jesus never asked those things of her and actually mentioned that "only one thing was needed" and that was to be in his presence. How easily we often think so much is required for life, or to be happy, when Jesus often taught the opposite of this.

Its like our culture thrives on busyness. That more is best. But scripture encourages us to do only what is beneficial. So not only could Martha not stay still, she actually got upset when others didn't feel the same frustrations or the same burden of work as she did. But I think this, that it takes courage to be still while others are running around like crazy busy doing things that seem important or good. Its taken me a while to get comfortable with knowing others around me are so busy working while I have chosen to stay still at his feet unless given instructions to do anything else. I'm not saying others are running around fruitless. I believe once God has given you a task, and when you're with him long enough he absolutely will no doubt, you should go for it 100%. And I know people who certainly are, but for the most part unfortunately, in my opinion most people are not doing that. They're actually just staying busy, running away or too distracted from a lot of what God would like to deal with and transform inside of them. They follow this chase of the American dream or what should be done in ministry and when they think they've finally gotten it, they find themselves still unfulfilled, so the chase continues.We should all be at the feet of Jesus, listening, learning, not telling him all our issues and giving him our long list of must haves, needs and wants, but like Mary, listening attentively and refusing to leave to do anything else unless asked.  Father help us all to learn.

I say all this to ask you to just be mindful of what's in your heart and to spend time with God to help you evaluate your fruitfulness. Once I went through the check list asking God what was expecting from me, I was amazed at how little was required. Not that God wants us to be a bunch of lazy bums and stop doing good, what I mean is I was giving quantity and not quality out, and once I edited things I realized I could give my best to what God truly was giving me to do. I could now give more to what mattered most to him, and right now in this season for me that's attention and affection to my husband and daughters and more time to read and write. Everything I do now is not busy, its fruitful.

If a friendship does not bare good fruit, I don't give it the time I would have previously if I give it any at all. Its not personal. You can be my brother or sister in Christ but I do chose my friends carefully just as you should. Consider doing inventory of your life on where your time and energy is spent and what are some of the results of those things. Also before I say yes to anything even when the idea or deed is good I'm learning to take time to pray and ask God first. In order to say yes to the plans God has for me, learning to say no to a lot of other things is needed.And now I find I never feel busy, I feel productive. I feel fruitful. God said to be fruitful and multiply. This isn't just a literal instruction to repopulate and have babies but to multiply yourself. Spend time with God, listen to his teachings as Mary did, read his Word and you will be fruitful, not busy, but fruitful, receiving and giving life in all that you do, not stressed or worried about many things.

You know those jokes that go "you might be a redneck if," well I think to myself, "you might be a Martha if, you find yourself at a diner party you planned and you suddenly wanna punch your sister in the face." Their could possibly be a narrow market for Hallmark with church goers here lol. But seriously. If you find your emotions being irritable when you look at what is happening in others lives around you, you might be a Martha, or simply coveting. If just by reading this you think of 100 reasons why this message wouldn't possibly apply to you, you might be a Martha. Or if you feel so busy and find yourself just telling people often just how busy you are, maybe you should stop what your doing long enough to sit at the feet of Jesus and ask him if what you're doing is good, or if their is something better. His rearranging of my life was not a quick process, nor was it easy, but I'm now so sure I'm doing exactly what he wants me to be doing, and its the best feeling. So freeing and liberating. I no longer feel like I need to explain my no's to others, actually just learning to say no was huge!  I feel free from a lot of icky stuff that I didn't know I needed to be free from.

Also from a practical stand point and I've been wanting to explain this for a while, when I say I "heard from God" just to clarify I don't have an audible  unmistakable voice I hear. Its more like, I have this thought in my head of what I should or should not do and it just simply doesn't go away, and I've learned that its often God's way of speaking to me. So when I'd ask God to show me what to change, a specific idea or thought would come to mind that just never went away until I did it. Don't let the devil lie to you and make you believe I'm more spiritual or capable of hearing God than you are. It takes time. It takes being quiet and still. It takes being obedient. I've totally gotten things wrong before but this is why God expresses over and over the importance of reading the Word and renewing the mind. Because the mind is where God dwells. Heart, mind, same thing. The more Word you fill your mind with the more easily you can discern if the thoughts happening in your mind are of God or not of God. The Word filters everything. Too many Christians are led by their "senses and feelings" and to them God is this mystical thing in need of searching for to "discover his will for them." His will for your life is found inside his Word and he places the blueprint in your mind.God dwells in our minds. He speaks in our minds. He builds in our minds and it must continually be renewed by the Word of God.  So please, don't ever read someone's blog or posts or sermons and think to yourself that only they hear from God. What they mean is simply, they had an idea or thought, an impression that just wouldn't go away. If you want to know his voice and his will for your life read the bible as frequent as possible. Listen to Jesus teach like Mary did by reading Matthew, Mark, Luke or John if you're new and need a place to begin. YouTube people like, Robert Morris, Andrew Wommack, Jonathan & Adalis Shuttlesworth, Joyce Meyer, Kenneth Hagin, Francis Chan or Myles Munroe to name a few and feed yourself daily! The knowledge of who God is, is limitless!

So to all the Martha's out there reading I pray you find the courage to stop long enough to listen to the Lords voice in your life. For in him and his instructions is exactly what you've been searching for. He has more for you. Receive from him. And to all the Mary's, good for you. Get excited, and like Mary may each of us see with our own eyes Christ bringing all that was once dead back to life again.

Love,
Sharon